when your smile turns cold
by merlyns
Summary: Future!Cat. "Mommy, you don't really have to go."


She's sitting at her little pink desk, stabbing her coloring book with her newly sharpened crayons. Daddy's in the kitchen making her, Damien, and Mommy lunch and Mommy keeps standing in front of the mirror, fixing her hair even though it's already big and poofy like always, and really pretty.

Cat tells her so, and her Mommy flashes her one of her bright smiles, the ones Cat always tries to mimic.

"Thank you, baby girl."

Cat smiles, returning her gaze back to her coloring book before she frowns, looking back up at her Mommy. "Mommy, you don't really have to go, do you?" Her voice is small and she sees her Mommy visibly tense.

"Baby-"

"Because we can do lots of things today! Saturdays are always fun, remember? We can go to the movies or look for dresses, or-"

Her Mommy drops her gaze to her baby girl, bending down to her level. "Baby girl, you already have so many pretty dresses. But if mommy doesn't work, then I won't be able to get you any more," Jade grasps her baby's cheeks, squeezing them. "I'll be back later tonight and we can watch Finding Nemo."

"I don't need more dresses!" Cat screams, standing up so she 'towers' over her Mommy just a little, staring her down. "I have all the dresses I need."

Jade chuckles. "What about when you grow up?"

"I'll never grow up," Cat answers simply, nodding her head determinedly.

Jade rolls her eyes, standing back up to her full height, and ruffles her daughter's hair. "I love you, baby girl, but Mommy really needs to go," she says quietly, soothing her dark, soft hair. But Cat won't give up that easily. She grabs her Mommy's legs when she tries to turn away, and Jade lets out an exasperated sigh. "_Beck_."

"Catty, sweetpea, don't you want some French fries?" Beck asks as he rounds the corner, holding a plate of French fries, sliced apples, and four star-shaped chicken nuggets. Jade feels her eyes watering and she can't afford to ruin her makeup, so she kisses her husband quickly, then leans down to kiss her sweet little girl.

Cat frowns and turns away, however, and Jade sighs, settling for kissing her cheek, fixing her hair once more. "You keep frowning like that and you'll get worry lines," Jade teases, poking her daughter's side.

Cat lets out a wail of laughter in spite of herself, then smiles. "Come back soon, Mommy," she whimpers, touching her Mommy's chin.

Jade grasps her tiny hand, kissing her fingers. "I will, baby girl, I will."

And then she's gone, out the door, and Beck smiles after her, waving proudly. Cat turns back to her coloring book, disinterestedly flipping through the pages.

"You okay, sweetpea?" Beck asks softly, placing the plate on the desk to touch Cat's hand.

Cat pulls away. "Fine."

.

.

Cat loves her Daddy. She loves his carelessness and the way his nose crinkles when her Mommy says something funny that Cat and her older brother Damien wouldn't understand. She loves his cooking, because he makes the best chicken nuggets and pork chops and green beans. Her Daddy makes everything fun and he always ruffles her hair and sings to her, even though his voice cracks and sometimes it goes so deep that it sounds scary.

But she doesn't love spending most of her time with him and barely seeing her Mommy. Maybe it's selfish, and Mommy's always telling Cat that being selfish is being mean and Cat doesn't want to be a mean person, but she misses her Mommy. She misses going out every Saturday morning with her Mommy and trying on dresses, and then going into town for lunch. She misses coming back and modeling her dresses for her Daddy and seeing Damien roll his eyes, then smile and tell her she looks okay.

Now when Daddy reads to her, it's not the same, and he tries but fails to add the right emotion and pitch to his voice, so Cat just tells him to stop reading and let her nap. She sees his face fall but she doesn't care.

She wants her Mommy.

.

.

Beck decides to take Cat to the batting cages with Damien and his friends when Jade is rehearsing for her play on Saturday, and Cat pouts, wiping the dirt spots on her light pink dress. She squeezes her Daddy's hand as he pays for their cages, then smiles at her.

"Are you excited, sweetpea?" Beck asks enthusiastically as they walk down to the helmets, trying to find one that looks somewhat girly.

Cat's lip juts out. "No," she answers simply, frowning, and Beck laughs.

"You'll love it, baby girl, I promise."

Cat feels her chest tighten just a little at her Mommy's nickname for her, but she pushes her from her mind. If her Mommy wants to leave her, then fine, maybe she will have fun.

"Gimme a bat," Cat demands, holding out her hand, and Beck's smile only widens.

.

.

Cat gets better, and she feels better, letting her Daddy read to her more and more. Sometimes they play with her dolls, and watch Finding Nemo over and over and they decorate her room with paper stars and rainbows and clouds, even though they know that if Mommy were to find out they shoved all of the paper scraps under Cat's bed when they were finished (it was Daddy's idea, she swears!) that she'd have a fit and make them take them down.

She leans against her Daddy's leg as he makes her a grilled cheese, poking her finger through the tiny hole in his jeans, and when she feels his knee jerk away, she knows she tickled him.

"Sweetpea, tickling someone while they're cooking is not a good idea," Beck warns sternly, staring her down.

Cat blinks up at him, her eyebrow furrowing. "Why?"

"Because then that someone does _this_!" Beck sets the spatula down, then attacks his daughter, scooping her up easily in his arms and tickling her sides. Cat howls with laughter, her sides aching as her Daddy spins her round and round and round. She opens her eyes, but he's twirling her so fast that she feels like she's on a carousel. Beck sets her down after awhile, in the living room, and Cat wobbles on her feet. She presses her face against her Daddy's legs, hugging him tightly.

But then her nose itches, and she makes a face. "Daddy?"

Beck smiles down at her. "Yes, sweetpea?"

"You burned my grilled cheese."

.

.

Cat frowns as Beck soothes her hair. "I don't want to go," she whines, trying to press her face into her Daddy's neck.

Beck shakes his head, straightening her back up so he can button up her dress. "But it's Mommy's big night. Aren't you excited? She's been working on this play for months now, sweetpea."

"I don't care," Cat stomps her foot, crossing her arms to prevent Beck from buttoning her dress. "I want to play Battleship."

"Not tonight, sweetpea, Mommy has her show."

"But I want-"

"The answer is no, Caterina," Cat tries to speak but Beck shakes his head. "No means no."

Cat huffs, looking away from him, and she can hear her Daddy let out one of those tired sighs he does when her Mommy's acting mean, but she doesn't apologize. She does let him finish buttoning up her dress however, and he places a pretty hair clip in her soft hair, patting her cheek softly before going to fix Damien's tie.

Cat frowns the entire ride there and when they're getting their food and drinks and when they finally take their seats, and Cat hides her face in her hair while everything is getting ready.

But then the bright lights come on, and music starts playing, and her heart leaps in her chest because she can hear her Mommy singing. Her voice is soft and low, and Cat sits up in her chair, squeezing her Daddy's hand, never taking her eyes off her beautiful Mommy.

Jade catches her daughter's gaze, and smiles warmly, before belting out the last note of the introduction. Just for her.

.

.

But things don't go back to normal.

.

.

Cat is still a bit unsettled when they arrive home, and she wraps her arms tighter around her Daddy's shoulders, burying her face in the crock of his neck.

"Daddy," she yawns, "tired."

Beck smiles, pushing her hair away from her face to kiss her nose. "Okay, sweetpea, I-"

"I'll tuck her in," Jade offers, reaching for her baby.

Cat's grip on Beck's shoulders tighten. "No."

Jade's face falls and Beck mouth opens and closes in shock, before he sets his daughter down. "Catty-"

"I don't want Mommy, she's never here to tuck me in anymore. I want Daddy to do it because he always sings to me."

Jade frowns. "Daddy can't sing at all, baby girl," she reasons.

"Yes he can!" Cat screams, stomping her foot. "And I'm not your baby girl anymore, I'm Daddy's sweetpea."

Jade reaches for her daughter but Cat pushes her away, burying her face into her Daddy's legs.

"Jade-"

But Jade just holds up her hand, kissing her daughter's cheek before she can react, then storms into the kitchen to clean the dishes.

Beck sighs, picking up Cat, who returns her face where it previously was, playing with his hair. "I love you very much, Daddy," she says quietly, honestly, and Beck nods.

"I know, sweetpea."

.

.

Beck comes back to see Jade still in her costume, scrubbing furiously at the pink plates with ketchup on them from earlier. He comes up behind her, rubbing her shoulders, which immediately tense at his touch.

She stops scrubbing for a moment. "Am I a bad mother?" She asks brokenly, and Beck can see her face crumbling.

His chest tightens and he shakes his head quickly. "No," he assures her, kissing the back of her head. "No, you are the best mother any girl could ask for."

"She doesn't like me anymore, Beck," Jade whimpers.

"She's just a little girl. She doesn't know any better," Beck soothes, reaching in front of her to grab her hands and rinse the soap off of them. He kisses her shoulder.

"Come to bed, okay?"

Jade swallows thickly, nodding. "Alright."

.

.

Jade comes into Cat's room before bed, placing some of her stuffed animals back on their shelf, shuffling over to her daughter's bed. She sits down for a moment, grabbing her baby girl's tiny hand in hers, rubbing it softly.

"I love you, baby girl," she whispers, kissing her cheek.

Cat pulls away.


End file.
